i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You ruined the universe
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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