my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize