actually, I'm a sock model
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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