you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
love makes seman taste better
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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