Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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