Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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