who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize