I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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