I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
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Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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