You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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