it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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