he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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