my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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