Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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