i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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