mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ladies don't puke and tell
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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