Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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