She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
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I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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