i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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