Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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