look no pants
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize