So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize