I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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