i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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