I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize