so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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