the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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