I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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