She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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