Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
now i know why i became what i already was.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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