im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize