I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize