I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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