i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize