Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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