What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the condom got lost in my hair
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize