i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize