so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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