Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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