12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
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Watching her eat just hurts me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I love you.
Bad choice
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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