Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
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She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
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I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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