I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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