hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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