Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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