Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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