why im i the only drunk person in the library?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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