BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
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I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
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I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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