honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
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You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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