You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize