As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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