Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize